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And not just with women. These men were still my friends, despite the fact that they weren't my brothers. Even as a gay man, my sexual currency was defined through heterosexuality. Those men wouldn't fuck me or fuck with me, and I graduated high school without a single male friend. Old loyalties die hard. I know many of us thought it would be and were disappointed by the reality. I fell in love with the wrong person—a pledge in the fraternity I had befriended.

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SinceDelta Lambda Phi DLP has offered gay, bisexual, and progressive men the opportunity to grow in the true spirit of brotherhood — one that embraces diversity and respects the value of all.

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The moment I made that discovery was a particularly hard one, requiring an even harder liquor. Being invited signaled acceptance, even if it was only on their terms. Find Chapters near youor if there are none, learn how you can start your own. I'd wake up early, SportsCenter or porn or whatever the boys had been watching still blaring on the big screen television, before making my way up College Street toward Cherry Hall and my women's studies classes. Get Queerty Daily Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of college frat whisperapp stories and more 4 Comments markgtx11 If you think coming out means you will be welcomed with love, acceptance, and open arms by the gay community, I suggest you read the comments in this and other gay blogs and see how many gay men treat each other. Alternately, there were the mornings I left another fraternity house before dawn, climbing out a window or slipping out the side door, and made my way up the hill our campus was built on, with mussed hair and the same clothes I'd had on the night before, dodging the judgmental looks of good students on their way to their 8 a.

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I hung out with gorgeous women and could shotgun a beer faster than any guy around me, which provided me a patriarchal currency I'd never had before. I kept going back, and I quickly found that even though I wasn't Greek, hanging out with a fraternity gave me the clout I needed. I might not be one of them, but I could hang with them, and that meant something. Alternately, there were the mornings I left another fraternity house before dawn, climbing out a window or slipping out the side door, and made my way up the hill our campus was built on, with mussed hair and the same clothes I'd had on the night before, dodging the judgmental looks of good students on their way to their 8 a. It was this currency that ingratiated me to a second fraternity, and it was because of them that I again rushed.

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